Krys brings enthusiasm and perspective when working with couples experiencing sexual difficulties.
Sex is not the foundation of a healthy relationship; it is a natural extension of a relationship in which giving and receiving mutual support and comfort are common. A great sexual relationship needs to be embedded in a vibrant overall relationship where intimacy is nurtured.
Intimacy in a Relationship
Krys engages couples to review the importance of intimacy in their relationship, being vulnerable with each other and disclosing who they really are.
Krys assists couples to trust one another in expressing their emotional, verbal and sexual needs.
Couples may experience differing needs for emotional and physical intimacy.
To experience maximum desire, emotional and physical intimacy needs to be negotiated and met to the satisfaction of both partners.
Failure to do so can lead to distance and tension.
Sex and Intimacy areas of exploration include
- Sexual difficulties
- Initiating a difficult conversation
- Being realistic about sexual expectations
- Sexual incompatibility
- How to persuade your partner to be more outgoing
- Negotiating a sex contract
- Sensuality, sex & intimacy
- Tips for great sex
Sex cannot be viewed as a light switch.
Learning to be romantic and enjoying each others company will always win hands down over just wanting, or demanding sex.
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Krys’ ability to see past presenting issues is instrumental in connecting with individuals with anger issues.
Anger is a natural and appropriate response to a number of situations including being lied to or otherwise betrayed, and in those times it would be unhealthy not to feel anger and give it a voice. Verbalising the emotion and working it through is how to relieve the physical and mental stress anger creates.
Krys facilitates the opportunity to resolve the problem with the other person and move past being angry.
Unhealthy anger, conversely, results when people flip out automatically as a reaction, or the extent of the anger is out of proportion to what happened. They hold onto grudges, rage at “stupid” drivers, unfairly blame their spouse/partner for events, and get angry at silly mistakes of their own.
Being angry is what they do because it’s the only way they know how to react in a situation, so they do it a lot.
Cause of Anger
Anger usually comes from unresolved hurt. It is a physical state of neediness, that internal happening that prepares us to cope with hurtful, frustrating and fearful experiences. Unfortunately unless there is some resolution this anger can become quite toxic to self and others.
Dealing with Anger
There are two ways of dealing with the emotion of anger – the constructive way, or the destructive way. Krys’ expertise in teaching individuals to take responsibility for their actions and equipping them with an awareness of sensing the beginning of the uncomfortable feelings allows the client to immediately intercept the negative emotion before it gets out of control.
Anger issues to be explored include:
- What’s behind the anger?
- Destroying your Health and your Relationships
- Exploring the Source of the Anger
- Examining the Unidentified, Unfulfilled Need
- Fair Fighting Rules and Problem Solving
- Relaxation Techniques
- EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
Krys encourages constructive action, coupled with new behavioural strategies. This will result in decatastrophising and not “sweating the small stuff”. New habits develop and a calmer demeanour will be evidenced as the ability to manage life’s ups and downs is exercised with greater confidence.
Being in charge of your own emotions is a strength. Out of control behaviour results in reactivity and negativity.
Step out and take the challenge. Learn new ways to escape the anger prison.
LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL.
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Self esteem is an emotion.
It is the degree that we consciously or sub-consciously accept and like ourselves, despite our mistakes and human frailties.
It determines what we think about ourselves and how we behave toward others.
Krys uses a number of invaluable tools and approaches to turn negative self talk, and negative thoughts into positive action.
She teaches clients how to break the destructive cycle of remaining in “think” and “feel” for too long. Getting stuck in this cycle inevitably leads to anxiety, low self worth, and depression.
Self Esteem approaches and strategies
- Recognizing Negative Self Talk & the Triggers
- Determining Rational & Irrational Thoughts
- Straight Thinking Exercises
- Strategies for Challenging Negative Thoughts
- Genuine Self versus Survival Self
- Authenticity Test
- EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
- EMDR
Krys teaches her clients to value and care for themselves. Sometimes they remain stuck because of past hurts and trauma.
Self Esteem Healing
Healing will occur when there is a commitment to accept and understand the present reality, and a desire to change what isn’t working. It also requires an openness to be aware of that which is holding a person back from reaching their full potential. Actioning new strategies is imperative for true change to come about.
Krys’ manner and sensitivity motivates her clients to desire an enriched life of authenticity, and contentment.
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It is very easy to get into an unhealthy vicious cycle.
When actions and interactions have negative outcomes over and over, we feel anxious and low. If these negative feelings are not dealt with, and not interrupted, there is a high chance that it can progress to depression.
The more depressed we feel the less motivated we are to engage in the kinds of activities that will have positive outcomes. This, of course causes us to feel even more depressed and in turn we become less active – it then goes on and on perpetuating inertia and negativity about life.
This cycle continues until you feel very depressed and are very passive.
Different Results of Depression
- Inability to sleep
- Feeling guilty
- Feeling powerless
- Sadness
- Decreased energy
- Lack of concentration
- Change in appetite
- Excessive worry
- Tearfulness
- Pain
- Irritability
- Constant thinking and churning
- Anxiety & Phobias
- Brooding
This cycle is bound to spiral downwards and leave you feeling trapped and hopeless.
Consequences of Depression
- You become pessimistic:
- You perceive your interactions as not associated with positive outcomes.
- You become less hopeful, eventually you feel hopeless.
- You lose interest and it’s more and more difficult to do things if it requires effort.
- You wonder if something is wrong with you. You start feeling inferior and inadequate and start blaming yourself (there must be a reason for your misery).
- Because you are doing less and less you may be letting other people down – you start feeling guilty
It is vital to understand that the cycle of depression can be broken.
Break the Cycle of Depression
What we think and feel does not have to determine how we act. We don’t have to feel good to do something. Life does not have to be viewed from a deep, dark, black hole.
We can break the cycle and be in control of the depression rather than it being in control of us.
Reaching out for support and learning new skills is crucial to breaking this destructive cycle.
Feeling free to live a productive life with a clear vision for happiness and peace is your right and can be achieved.
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Between trying to balance work, family, friends and everything else, stress has become common in our society. Letting stress alter your lifestyle can cause depression and fatigue.
A recent Psychological Association survey of 1,850 people found that a disturbing 70% of respondents reported having physical and psychological symptoms of stress. The survey had some good news …….. 60% of those polled said they would be motivated to change, including learning to manage stress more effectively, in order to feel better.
Krys engages with her clients to clarify what the stress triggers are. Potential triggers could include painful circumstances like illness or loss, difficulties in relationships, work issues, conflict with loved ones, to name only a few.
Circumstances do not create stress – rather the stress results from how we respond to them.
Stress and Anxiety Definitions
Stress comes from wishing something were different and the worry that you cannot change it. This leads to feeling stuck.
Anxiety is an uncomfortable feeling of fear or imminent disaster.
Everybody feels some anxiety throughout their life. It becomes a problem if you feel so anxious that it interferes with your normal day-to-day activities.
Stress and Anxiety symptoms include
- irritability
- bad mood
- worried that something bad is going to happen
- getting overly upset with mistakes
- being a perfectionist
- being argumentative
- dry mouth/difficulty swallowing
- nightmares
- insomnia
- difficulty in concentrating
- muscle tension and headaches
- panic attacks
- rapid heart rate and breathing
If this happens it is extremely important to seek help to reduce and manage your anxiety.
Krys uses a number of effective methods for dealing with stress & anxiety. The emphasis in treatment is how to get unstuck.
Stress and Anxiety Relief – Effective Methods
- Being Acknowledged and Telling your Story
- Recognizing & replacing Negative Self Talk
- Awareness of Factors that Raise & Lower stress
- Decatastrophising & Prioritizing
- Rational versus Irrational Thinking
- Building Resiliency
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
- EFT ( Emotional Freedom Technique)
- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing)
- Emotional Release Technique & Relaxation exercises
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